Decisions, decisions...

Ok, so I've broken down and made a compromise with myself. I'll talk about my job here, but not in any great detail. Honestly, at this point, my job might not be there in a few months anyway, so what am I worried about?

I work for a big firm, that's based in California. The east coast has been struggling to turn a profit for a long time now. The main reason for this is that most of the contracts that are negotiated for us are done to favor the west coast offices. But the east coast is very different from the west coast. So basically, we are not making enough money to cover our overhead. The west coast is swimming in profits, and we are losing millions of dollars a month. Again, the main reason being that the rates in the contracts are fine by west coast standards, but the east coast cannot logistically work with these rates and make money. We all know this, and morale here has been extremely low, and turnover has been extremely high. I am a manager, and therefore responsible for the profitability of my division. The problem is, we're working at 110% and still losing money. No matter what we do, we are in the red. And not just my division, but all east coast offices. So there's obviously a bigger problem here. And I'm tired of taking the heat for this, when my hands are tied.

Now, I have a decision to make. Do I stay with a seemingly sinking ship? Well, no. But, there's been a little shake-up last week, and maybe, just maybe we can convince "corporate" to change their ways. I sincerely doubt it, but I think I should at least give it a few more weeks and see if changes can be made. I have the support of my boss, but we are just small fish in an immense pond. I doubt he will be able to effect any sweeping change. The next few weeks should be interesting...

A Day Off

I decided to take today off, since I still wasn't feeling wel from my ordeal from earlier this week. Thank God for computers and the ability to work from home.

I am completely bored lately. TV sucks. There are some good movies out there, but they're few and far between, and even then, they're only like 90 minutes long. I tired of the bar scene long ago. Artistically, I feel like I'm being pulled in a million different directions, and the net result is nothing (i.e., I sit on my ass). I'm dying for a good video game or book to come out, but nothing has caught my interest. I need to find a new hobby, somthing to make me enjoy things again. I'm not depressed. Just sort of apathetic.

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Song of the Day: All Because of You, by U2

This song, while not the best song on their new album How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, shows why these guys are still the best rock band out there today. The Strokes, The Hive, The White Stripes, or any other "The" band, all would give their right testicle to write a song half as good as this. It evoves the Rolling Stones and The Who, but still has the flavor of a U2 song. Definitely a stripped-down throwback, and just all out rock and roll. I saw them live back in May, and they did this song, and as with most stuff with U2, it's better live.

At Least I Have My Health

Ok, so I spent the better part of Monday in the emergency room. Long story short (and to avoid any gross details), I was having severe abdominal pains, and thought I might have food poisoning. The docs did their tests, and ruled out anything viral or bacterial. No food poisoning, no liver or pancreas problems, just good old fashioned IBS brought on by stress. Great. And I have a lot of tests I'll have to go for now, to rule out other things. Colonoscopy, here I come!

Seriously though, it did make me stop and think, as I lay there on a gurney with an IV attached. Health is something we all take for granted, and at that moment, I really realized that. I haven't been sick in a long time, and to be that ill, that helpless, wasn't fun at all. It's scary to think of how fragile we are. I'm not trying to turn my inconvenience into something serious. It's just that even with a little IBS, I felt like I was going to die. It must be horrible to really be ill, to have something that is really life-threatening. I really don't want to feel like that ever again. I know it's inevitable, but it's scary to think about...

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I've been debating for a while whether or not to post thoughts regarding my job, since it is the cause of most of my stress (as well as happiness, if you can understand that). I love my job, but sometimes it eats away at me.With all the talk lately of employers firing bloggers, it's a bit scary. First Ammendment my ass. Anyway, I'll think on it, and maybe post some thoughts later this week.

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Song of the Day: The River, by Bruce Springsteen

If you've never heard this song, go out and get it. Download it off iTunes, borrow it from a friend, hell, buy the album. It's a double CD, but worth it. The best version of this song is on the Live in New York City DVD set (audio CD as well), at MSG. If listening to that version of this song doesn't make you cry, you have no soul.

Personal Ad of the Week!! (Not for the faint of heart)

Ok, a friend and I have this thing where we scour Craig's List (www.craigslist.org) for funny or weird ads, and share them with each other for laughs. I found this one this week, and had to share this on here. I love the last line. It's priceless. Enjoy!

I LOVE A "GASSY' WOMAN AND CAN PAY FOR "WIND" - m4w - 57
Reply to: anon-81996213@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-07-01, 12:47PM EDT

I know this sounds weird...but I love farts coming out of a beautiful ass!
Some days I ride elevators hoping some classy, pretty, well dressed chick will cut loose...even an "SPD" one. It's the best after breakfast or lunch.
I can actually get my lips around your ass-hole so when you fart I can suck it in and swallow it! Imagine being able to tell your friends "I met a guy who eats my farts!" That is REAL status!
No poop...lets not get disgusting.

Today on Music Television (MTV)...actual music!

Ok, so MTV & VH1 decided to replay the Live 8 concerts that they didn't play the first time. I mean, they played them, but the concert was cut to shreds to allow for commercials and such. I applaud the networks for listening to their audience and replaying the concerts in their entirety, but they should not have had to respond to thousands of complaints in the first place. Maybe I'm showing my age here, but does anyone else remember when the "M" in MTV stood for MUSIC? I mean these days, we're treated to Punk'd, Road Rules, Real World, Road Rules vs. Real World, Pimp My Ride, Viva La Bam, and various and sundry other shows which have no connection with music whatsoever. TRL shows parts of videos from "artists," but it's mostly 12 year old girls in Times Square screaming their f'ing lungs out. I think they run videos from like 4am to 5am, or some ridiculousness like that. And VH1 just does their "list" shows now, with D-list "celebrities" making fun of real celebrities. It was funny the first few times, but now, all day on VH1 you can find shows like "Least Metal Moments" or "40 Biggest Celebrity Oops!" I mean, I loved "I Love the '80s" and it's sequels, but again, I'd rather see more music.

I grew up on MTV and the videos. Headbangers Ball. Top 20 Countdown. Rock Blocks. Even Yo MTV Raps. Video killed the radio star, and MTV killed the video star.

Prayers for London...

Ok, this really sucks. More innocent people are dead. For no good reason. Because there are people out there who hate freedom, hate equality, hate everything that is good in this world. There's not much more I can say that hasn't been said already. We went through this on 9/11. Now Londoners are dealing with this. When will it stop? Does it accomplish anything? No. New Yorkers were back at work 2 days after 9/11. The Brits will do the same. They are terrorists, but they are not instiling terror. If anything, they are strengthening our resolve, our solidarity. Our nations pull together in the face of these tragedies.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all of the U.K., and anyone who is suffering from these senseless, cowardly acts of violence.

"I can't believe the news today, I can't close my eyes and make it go away...how long? How long must we sing this song?"