Things You Find on Craig's LIst...

Ok, a friend and I have this thing where we scour Craig's List (www.craigslist.org) for funny or weird ads, and share them with each other for laughs. I found this one recently, and had to share this on here. I love how she ends the ad, telling all applicants to make their case so she knows which one of the many fine specimens to pick. Yuck. The ad was posted in early November, so she may already be taken. Sorry fellas. Enjoy!

CUTE GIRL WITH WEIRD REQUEST - w4m - 19
Reply to: pers-109945439@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-11-09, 8:27AM EST

Hey there you guys? I'm 5'6, slim, long straight brown hair, brown eyes. I'm attractive. Don't worry. Just a little weird. I'm looking for a guy that will make out with me and spit in my mouth while doing it. Not just regular spit, but the kind where you have to snort it and hock it from your throat. I know. It's gross. I'm so embarrassed. I just have a weird kink for it. The sound of a guy snorting and hocking spit turns me on. My ex boyfriend was really rough in bed and he use to snort and hock loogies in my mouth all the time. Now i'm orgasmic off of it. So if you're not to weirded out by my request, send me a pic and tell me why i should pic you.

no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Here we go again...

Ok, so work is a being a royal pain in the ass and confounding me once again. I was notified today that one of my former employees (who's recently moved on to another division) is leaving the company, due mainly to some, shall we say, "curious" moves by management. I don't want to get into too much detail here (maybe I'm paranoid?) but needless to say, it seems like there's a slow but steady "housecleaning" going on. Also, another manager was brought on, which is weird. There are 2 divisions in NYC, and I manage one of them. But the other division now has 2 managers. Should I be concerned?

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Random Thought

Has anyone else noticed the decline in colored toilet paper in the past few years? I remember when I was a kid, my mom always bought different colors, blue, yellow, pink, etc. Now there's only white. It's a sad day indeed, when toilet paper diversity is dead.

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Song of the Day: Precious, by Depeche Mode

This is the first single off the new album, Playing the Angel. Honestly, the first 5 songs on this album are the best. After that, it's all downhill. A few catching hooks or choruses, but nothing that stands out. Still, 5 great songs is still alot better than what you get on most albums these days. My favorite song, however, is Precious, the new single. It would be right at home on their magnum opus, Violator. But it's a great song, and something about the guitar riff at the end really affects me.

Long Absence

Ok, I know I've been gone for a long time. I just needed to figure out some things for work. I don't know why, but any time I have issues at work, it just kills any creativity I have. I don't want to write, play music, anything. But I'm on vacation this week, worked some things out at the office, and the creative juices are sarting to flow again. So hopefully I can keep up with the blogging on a more routine basis. I'm also thinking about adding a domain name for this site. We'll see...

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U2 at MSG

Ok, so last week, I went to see U2 at Madison Square Garden. Great shows. I hope to have some reviews up by tomorrow or Tuesday. All I'll say for now is that there's a reason why these guys are the best band on the planet. And the next time one of these "pop tarts" like Brittney or Ashley says they need to lip synch because of all the dancing the do, rent a U2 DVD. These guys are all over the place. Bono was running all around the stage, interacting with other band members, jumping into the crowd, singing through it all. And The Edge. This guy is amazing. He was running around the ellipse (the oval stage-walkway, see pic), Bono chasing him, as he's playing a blistering guitar solo. And these guys are 45.

More detailed reviews to come...

New Fall TV Season

The new Fall season has started for some of the shows I watch, so below are some of my thoughts. I don't watch much TV these days, but there are still a few shows I don't miss.

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The Simpsons

You will find no bigger fan of The Simpsons than me. But in recent years, the show has sort of let me down. It used to be a clever caricature of society, pop culture, and the world in general. these days, it's a caricature of itself. So many of the ideas are being retread, and it just isn't funny anymore. How many times can Bart be expelled from school? How many times is Marge going to leave Homer, just to realize how much she loves him and return? There have been a few shows here and there that were good, but overall, the quality has declined tremendously. I used to be crying at the end of each show from laughing so hard, and my sides would hurt. these days, I'm lucky if I let out a chuckle or two. There was a time when the show self-referenced itself, and I think that's about where the series should have ended. For instance, you'd see Homer's Mr. Plow jacket, or Marge's bowling ball (also named "Homer") in the hall closet. But these days there are continuity errors, and the gags just aren't funny. Last night's episode was ok, but I really hate when they personify animals, like the manatees were this week. It was funny when Santa's Little Helper would roll his eyes at something. But this is a little out of hand.

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Family Guy

Family Guy is one of those shows that I hated at first, thinking it was another Simpsons ripoff. But I've grown to like it, and I think a lot of the plots and things that were suspiciously similar to the Simpsons was done on purpose. It quickly became one of my favorites. When it was cancelled, I was really upset, along with millions of other fans. Thankfully, due to record DVD sales, Fox wisened up and brought it back (in a hilarious moment, in the first episode back on the air, Peter mentions all the shows that Fox chose to air after Family Guy was cancelled, which are all now cancelled themselves...shows like Dark Angel and Andy Richter Controls The Universe). The summer season was great, with tons of hilarious moments. Last night's episode was the fall season premiere, but wasn't all that good. It seems to be trying too hard, and a lot of the jokes fell flat. I also don't like how Meg is being portrayed lately, always yelling at Peter and calling him a "fat bastard." It's just not what her character is supposed to be.

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Ghost Hunters

Ok, so Ghost Hunters premiered a few weeks ago, but I still love this show. This week's episode had some genuine creepy moments, as a door in an upstairs bedroom opened and closed twice, without any explanation, and it was all caught on video. Not the best evidence shown on this show (see last season's prison footage here http://www.scifi.com/ghosthunters/), but definitely interesting. One of the investigators, Brian Harnois, has left the show, hopefully temporarily. He was annoying, but brought a lot of comic relief to the show.

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Song of the Day: Love and Peace or Else, by U2

The "Bullet the Blue Sky" of How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. A real heavy song, and it builds to a great crescendo (I tend to like songs like that). The boys played a great live version of this for the MTV/VH1 Katrina relief show, and it was great. It's a very simple song, but heavy and groovy at the same time. And it's even better live.

Defending Bono

It's no secret to anyone who knows me that I'm a huge U2 fan. Most people would think that I would defend Bono no matter what, because I'm a fan. But that's not the case. I'm largely against most celebrities who use their star power to push their political agendas. But Bono is different. And not just because I'm a fan...

Most celebrities these days seem to be liberal, or at least the ones who voice their opinions the loudest seem to be. Aren't we all sick of Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Sean Penn, et al.? These stars, who are richer than you or I could ever dream to be, and haven't worked a real job in decades, use every opportunity to villify the Republicans as greedy, salivating, evil monsters who want to destroy the world. And there are of course conservative celebs (though I can't think of any off the top of my head) who villify the Democrats as bleeding heart tree-hugging liberals. But we don't hear from them as much as the liberals, for some reason.

A lot of people lump Bono into this group of celebs who push politics. But there are a few things wrong with this unfair stereotype. First of all, Bono doesn't use every chance he gets in front of a microphone to push his political agenda. Try watching any awards show, talk show, or any other public appearance by the aforementioned celebs, and you're guaranteed to get a lecture on how Republicans are ruining the very fabric of society. Bono, on the other hand, knows when he's at an awards show, and keeps his speeches mainly to "thank you's." At one point in every concert, he will mention the One campaign, that he helped to spearhead, and that's at the beginning of their song "One." Appropriate, in my eyes. Other than that, he's not spouting political rhetoric at every turn.

Secondly, and in my eyes, most important, is that Bono never plays along party lines. Tim Robbins would probably puke if he was ever in the same room as George W. Bush. Bono meets with all parties, from W. to Clinton, GOP or Demo alike. To me, this shows that he cares about the issue, not the party. To me, this is paramount. I'm very middle of the road politically, and don't think that party determines what kind of person you are. Just your beliefs. Opinions are just that, opinions. Nobody is wrong or right. I'd rather see Bono championing more funding for AIDS research, than listen to another Susan Sarandon speech about how the war in Iraq is wrong. Ok Susan. You don't like Republicans. We get it. Now shut the hell up.

Bono fights for basic human issues. Cure AIDS. Eliminate starving in Africa. Cancel the debts of nations so poor that they will never be able to pay us back anyway. There's no political slant there. He doesn't spend all his time criticizing people who have different beliefs than he does. That's just being a humanitarian. Bono would not be playing the blame game in New Orleans. He'd just be going out asking anyone who'd listen for help.

I think we all need to be more open-minded to the other sides of the issues. Only looking at one side, whether it's liberal or conservative, just keeps you ignorant to half of what's going on. Be open-minded, and realize that there are people behind all the laws and rulings and beliefs. If you're liberal, or conservative, but are at least open to the other side of the coin, that's great. At least you educated yourself and made a decision. But to simply align yourself with a political party, and go with whatever they say, sounds pretty scary to me. That sounds like brainwashing. I just wish more celebrities would focus more on the issues and less on the politicians.

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Song of the Day: Acrobat, by U2

It's a column about U2 and politics, so easy choice here. This song is my favorite song from the Achtung, Baby album. An angry political rant, yet more mature and jaded than some of their earlier political anthems. The song is dark, angry, atmoshpheric, and builds to one of the greatest crescendos in rock music. The guitar solo at the end is just blistering, and if you think emotions couldn't be expressed perfectly with a few strings on an electric guitar, listen to this song. This is the only song from this album that was never played live, with the exception of one little acoustic snippet once, which doesn't count in my eyes. It's a shame, because live, this song would have kicked some serious ass.

Prayers for the Gulf Coast

It really is scary what's going on in the Gulf Coast right now, in the aftermath of hurricane Katrina. Anarchy seems to have broken loose. Bad enough that thousands are dead, and that entire cities are flooded in up to 20 feet of water. But now people are looting, and even worse, people have guns, and are shooting at law enforcement and rescuers. My heart really goes out to people who have been decimated by this disaster. But part of me is really saddened, to see how quickly society degrades in a situation like this. How soon before roving gangs of looters with guns start gunning down families over a scrap of food, or a bottle of water? We think we are so eveolved. But we're not so far removed from animals after all. Situations like this are supposed to bring out the best in people, and in human-kind: helpfulness, caring of your fellow man. Stealing TV sets is not necessary for survival. Roving flooded cities with guns, terrorizing people who are trying to rescue you is not human. It's simply acting like a wounded animal. I fear for this world if we are ever faced with a world-wide disaster. In a matter of a month we will be like cavemen, attacking each other for a scrap of food, defending our territory. Very scary...

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I've decided to stay at my job. Things seem to have improved since last week, and the new VP seems to be very strategic instead of a raving lunatic. I can deal with this...

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Right now, I'm just looking forward to a nice 3-day weekend. Tomorrow will be a slow, quiet, shortened day of work, and then it's 3 days relaxing, enjoying the official end of summer. I'll catch up on this weeks episode of Ghost Hunters, and play my newly redeiscovered Playstation 2. Gotta love video games.

Stay safe, and be kind to your fellow man.

Changes...Ghost Hunters...Free Career Advice!

Well, a lot has gone on since my last post. Basically, just with my job. These days, it seems like all I do is work. Most of my free time is spent sleeping. Anyway, they fired my boss yesterday, which was unexpected. I mean, it's no secret that the company is not doing well, but we thought they'd give him more time than this. He only had a few weeks, and there's no way anyone could have effected change that quickly. I feel bad for him, since he has a family and all, and it's always hard to see someone get fired. Plus he'd been with the company for years. But we have to move on.

Morale has taken a hit, and I just hope everyone sticks it out. I've basically decided to stay put and see what the new boss has in mind. Apparently a new business plan is in the works, and at this point, I'm willing to try anything. As the only manager left in my office, I hope I'm at least consulted and allowed some input. Time will tell.

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Ghost Hunters on the SciFi channel is a great show. Seriously. If you're not watching it, check it out. It's a reality show based on these guys in Rhode Island who basically investigate hauntings. It's just a really good show, funny, edited well, and genuinely spooky at times. I don't watch much TV (I just don't have the attention span these days to watch stuff that can't keep my attention), but this show is a must-see for me. And even at an hour, it always leaves me wanting more. That's rare these days. Whether you believe in ghosts or not, check it out. It's on at 9pm on Wednesdays.

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Free Job Hunting Tip: When you're going on an interview, make sure you bring a clean copy of your resume, preferably on nice paper. Bring it in a folder, or a briefcase, or some other device that will keep it crisp and clean. Do not crumple it up and put it in your back pocket. Don't use the resume with coffee stains on it. And please, if you're going to write it by hand, in pencil, on notebook paper, make sure that you trim the edges when you rip it out of your spiral notebook. Those little "frillies" just make it look so unprofessional. And people wonder why I'm so stressed out by 5pm every day...

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Song of the Day: Angel, by Aerosmith

This song is Aerosmith at their best, I think. This was their "comeback" album (Permanent Vacation), and in my mind, some of their best work. This was before they were doing soundtrack songs for Ben Affleck movies and the infamous "Cryin'/Crazy/Amazing" all-our-songs-are-wimpy-and-sound-alike phase that they drifted into. I think they just released an album a few months ago. Didn't hear about it? Don't worry, you're not alone. Anyway, I love this album, and this song in particular is awesome. When I first got cable, this was one of the videos MTV played all the time, and I just fell in love with this song. I just love the harmonies at the end, and the strings are incredible. Simple yet effective. Great tune.

Decisions, decisions...

Ok, so I've broken down and made a compromise with myself. I'll talk about my job here, but not in any great detail. Honestly, at this point, my job might not be there in a few months anyway, so what am I worried about?

I work for a big firm, that's based in California. The east coast has been struggling to turn a profit for a long time now. The main reason for this is that most of the contracts that are negotiated for us are done to favor the west coast offices. But the east coast is very different from the west coast. So basically, we are not making enough money to cover our overhead. The west coast is swimming in profits, and we are losing millions of dollars a month. Again, the main reason being that the rates in the contracts are fine by west coast standards, but the east coast cannot logistically work with these rates and make money. We all know this, and morale here has been extremely low, and turnover has been extremely high. I am a manager, and therefore responsible for the profitability of my division. The problem is, we're working at 110% and still losing money. No matter what we do, we are in the red. And not just my division, but all east coast offices. So there's obviously a bigger problem here. And I'm tired of taking the heat for this, when my hands are tied.

Now, I have a decision to make. Do I stay with a seemingly sinking ship? Well, no. But, there's been a little shake-up last week, and maybe, just maybe we can convince "corporate" to change their ways. I sincerely doubt it, but I think I should at least give it a few more weeks and see if changes can be made. I have the support of my boss, but we are just small fish in an immense pond. I doubt he will be able to effect any sweeping change. The next few weeks should be interesting...

A Day Off

I decided to take today off, since I still wasn't feeling wel from my ordeal from earlier this week. Thank God for computers and the ability to work from home.

I am completely bored lately. TV sucks. There are some good movies out there, but they're few and far between, and even then, they're only like 90 minutes long. I tired of the bar scene long ago. Artistically, I feel like I'm being pulled in a million different directions, and the net result is nothing (i.e., I sit on my ass). I'm dying for a good video game or book to come out, but nothing has caught my interest. I need to find a new hobby, somthing to make me enjoy things again. I'm not depressed. Just sort of apathetic.

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Song of the Day: All Because of You, by U2

This song, while not the best song on their new album How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, shows why these guys are still the best rock band out there today. The Strokes, The Hive, The White Stripes, or any other "The" band, all would give their right testicle to write a song half as good as this. It evoves the Rolling Stones and The Who, but still has the flavor of a U2 song. Definitely a stripped-down throwback, and just all out rock and roll. I saw them live back in May, and they did this song, and as with most stuff with U2, it's better live.

At Least I Have My Health

Ok, so I spent the better part of Monday in the emergency room. Long story short (and to avoid any gross details), I was having severe abdominal pains, and thought I might have food poisoning. The docs did their tests, and ruled out anything viral or bacterial. No food poisoning, no liver or pancreas problems, just good old fashioned IBS brought on by stress. Great. And I have a lot of tests I'll have to go for now, to rule out other things. Colonoscopy, here I come!

Seriously though, it did make me stop and think, as I lay there on a gurney with an IV attached. Health is something we all take for granted, and at that moment, I really realized that. I haven't been sick in a long time, and to be that ill, that helpless, wasn't fun at all. It's scary to think of how fragile we are. I'm not trying to turn my inconvenience into something serious. It's just that even with a little IBS, I felt like I was going to die. It must be horrible to really be ill, to have something that is really life-threatening. I really don't want to feel like that ever again. I know it's inevitable, but it's scary to think about...

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I've been debating for a while whether or not to post thoughts regarding my job, since it is the cause of most of my stress (as well as happiness, if you can understand that). I love my job, but sometimes it eats away at me.With all the talk lately of employers firing bloggers, it's a bit scary. First Ammendment my ass. Anyway, I'll think on it, and maybe post some thoughts later this week.

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Song of the Day: The River, by Bruce Springsteen

If you've never heard this song, go out and get it. Download it off iTunes, borrow it from a friend, hell, buy the album. It's a double CD, but worth it. The best version of this song is on the Live in New York City DVD set (audio CD as well), at MSG. If listening to that version of this song doesn't make you cry, you have no soul.

Personal Ad of the Week!! (Not for the faint of heart)

Ok, a friend and I have this thing where we scour Craig's List (www.craigslist.org) for funny or weird ads, and share them with each other for laughs. I found this one this week, and had to share this on here. I love the last line. It's priceless. Enjoy!

I LOVE A "GASSY' WOMAN AND CAN PAY FOR "WIND" - m4w - 57
Reply to: anon-81996213@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-07-01, 12:47PM EDT

I know this sounds weird...but I love farts coming out of a beautiful ass!
Some days I ride elevators hoping some classy, pretty, well dressed chick will cut loose...even an "SPD" one. It's the best after breakfast or lunch.
I can actually get my lips around your ass-hole so when you fart I can suck it in and swallow it! Imagine being able to tell your friends "I met a guy who eats my farts!" That is REAL status!
No poop...lets not get disgusting.

Today on Music Television (MTV)...actual music!

Ok, so MTV & VH1 decided to replay the Live 8 concerts that they didn't play the first time. I mean, they played them, but the concert was cut to shreds to allow for commercials and such. I applaud the networks for listening to their audience and replaying the concerts in their entirety, but they should not have had to respond to thousands of complaints in the first place. Maybe I'm showing my age here, but does anyone else remember when the "M" in MTV stood for MUSIC? I mean these days, we're treated to Punk'd, Road Rules, Real World, Road Rules vs. Real World, Pimp My Ride, Viva La Bam, and various and sundry other shows which have no connection with music whatsoever. TRL shows parts of videos from "artists," but it's mostly 12 year old girls in Times Square screaming their f'ing lungs out. I think they run videos from like 4am to 5am, or some ridiculousness like that. And VH1 just does their "list" shows now, with D-list "celebrities" making fun of real celebrities. It was funny the first few times, but now, all day on VH1 you can find shows like "Least Metal Moments" or "40 Biggest Celebrity Oops!" I mean, I loved "I Love the '80s" and it's sequels, but again, I'd rather see more music.

I grew up on MTV and the videos. Headbangers Ball. Top 20 Countdown. Rock Blocks. Even Yo MTV Raps. Video killed the radio star, and MTV killed the video star.

Prayers for London...

Ok, this really sucks. More innocent people are dead. For no good reason. Because there are people out there who hate freedom, hate equality, hate everything that is good in this world. There's not much more I can say that hasn't been said already. We went through this on 9/11. Now Londoners are dealing with this. When will it stop? Does it accomplish anything? No. New Yorkers were back at work 2 days after 9/11. The Brits will do the same. They are terrorists, but they are not instiling terror. If anything, they are strengthening our resolve, our solidarity. Our nations pull together in the face of these tragedies.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all of the U.K., and anyone who is suffering from these senseless, cowardly acts of violence.

"I can't believe the news today, I can't close my eyes and make it go away...how long? How long must we sing this song?"

Political Correctness on "American Idol" (or Simon Cowell is NOT Evil)

I was watching "American Idol" last night (not something I normally do, except for the beginning auditions where most everyone is terrible), and a thought occurred to me. Every time Simon Cowell is brutally honest with a performer, the crowd boos, as if he's doing it for shock value. Paula and Randy are always extremely generous, and seem to find the good in every mediocre performance. But when Simon calls things as they are, the other 2 judges, along with the audience, is outraged. Why?

I think a lot of this is symptomatic with what is wrong with society today. It seems that these days, you can't be honest and say someone did something wrong, or badly. To do so is seen as being "unfair" or "tough" on the person, when really it's just about being honest. People make mistakes. They sing songs badly. They do their jobs poorly. Great authors put out bad books. Why should we walk on eggshells around people when they goof up? It's what makes us human, and it's why we have competitions. These little fumbles are what inspire us to do better next time. If everyone on "American Idol" was great, then what's the point of competing? They're all even, give contracts to everybody. God forbid anyone's feelings get hurt. We as a society are becoming weak. We can't take jokes anymore. We can't take constructive criticism. People are offended by everything. Nobody is at fault anymore. Spill that hot coffee in your lap? It's not your fault for being STUPID, it's McDonald's fault for making it too hot. Go sue them for a bazillion dollars. It really makes me sick.

Does Simon Cowell go a little too far sometimes? Sure. Is it done for shock value? Partly. But it's only because he has our number. He can be a lemming, like Randy, Paula, and that abomination Ryan Seacrest, and tell everyone that they were wonderful, we love you, blah, blah, blah. But he tells the truth. And sometimes the truth hurts.

Personal Space

Why do people on a relatively non-crowded train feel the need to stand right on top of you? It seems like every day, I get on the train coming home, and no matter how much room is in the car, some moron has to stand right by me. I'm not even talking close, I'm talking very close. It's maddening. Today, some woman stands right in front of me, practically stepping on my shoes. I gave a not-so-subtle hint that she was a bit too close, and all she does is turns and smiles at me. Maybe I wouldn't have minded so much if she even approached attractive, but either way, it just pissed me off.

All I know is, I was raised right. I'm polite, hold the door for people, etc. As angry as I get, I rarely let it show. And I'd never invade someone's personal space like that. After 9+ hours a day working with the public, the last thing I want is one of them sitting in my lap on the ride home.

Welcome...

I'm planning on keeping this blog fairly humorous, with my daily rants, observations, insight, whatever comes to mind. I spend most of the past 3 days fixing various issues with my computer, so I'll post more either tomorrow or Monday.